If I were the boss...

If by some miracle, I were bestowed an almighty sceptre that granted me absolute political power the first changes I would make would be with our military. I know, I know...the economy and taxes and whatnot would all get their due attention; but, I've had a problem with how our Army, in particular, operates. For years, the dregs of society have been ushered into camouflage and sent off to tote a rifle and represent our nation to the rest of the world. Sure, there are the likes of Lee and Grant and Alvin York and John Pershing and Carlos Hathcock that bring the word "hero" to our lips and make us proud of our service men and women. I am not and will never dispute the fact that our military is chock full of great Americans and capable warriors. What I am suggesting, though, is that our military, the greatest on the planet, is full of dead weight and detractors. Think about Abu Ghariab. Look back for a minute and you'll realize that when those pictures hit the news the nation began its turn away from supporting the war in Iraq. Had we not put a unit of weekend warriors, essentially college kids who haze freshmen on a normal basis, in charge of the prison the incident would have never happened and our collective image to the Iraqis would not have suffered such a blow. Professionalism. Professionalism is seriously lacking in the majority of our military personnel. I understand that there will always be a bad egg or two. What I would change is the quality of recruits and the existing rank/pay structure.


First change I'd make would be to stop promoting based on time in service. Too many idiots are wearing sergeant stripes instead of a private's chevron. We promote incompetent knuckleheads to ranks of responsibility because our leaders are afraid to hurt their feelings and deny them the opportunity to prove themselves. Sorry, but promoting on potential or affirmative action or sympathy is the wrong answer. How many casualties have we suffered because of poor leadership? That's a stat that we'll never see. Pat Tillman? A celebrity who was given the rank of sergeant and fired on his own platoon. The fix: recreate a parallel rank structure to that of the Non-commissioned Officer Corps (Sergeants) for those who do a great job or create a quality product but have no leadership ability. Also, Ranger school would no longer be training for elite Infantry but would become a required school for all NCOs.

Next to get the axe would be all the non-combat pertinent jobs. All the pogues who have no need of using a rifle would be dropped and replaced with private companies. These private companies would turn out a much better product and cost the tax payer much less. Any idea how much money a soldier really gets? You'd be surprised.

I'd also limit the amount of commissions that are offered to military academies, R.O.T.C. programs, etc. Too many officers, whose jobs are generally more significant than the individual enlisted person, leave too much to be desired. My plan would take only a certain percentage of graduates. Schools like West Point and VMI would get a higher percentage than, say, Debbie's Hair Care College, of course. The idea is to bring in the best.

Lastly, I'd significantly increase the base pay for our troops. I'd make the military as good a job as any other in the market. Let it be prestigious and beneficial for our youth to be soldiers, sailors, etc and they will line up outside the recruiter's office. Then our recruiters can pick and choose from the lot of them and take the best. No more judges sending thugs to the service in lieu of jail. Only the best. No more refuges from the job market. Only the best. No more punk kids who join the reserves to pay off college loans and then go to Iraq and humiliate detainees. Only the best.

My goal would be to create a more potent, more professional, more economically efficient, more lethal military. What would you do?